Am i being selfish?

my son has now left home to hisgirlfriends,am heartbroke as i mss him dearly,he wanted me to meet hm in the job centre to tell the tax credits and amily allownace that i have kicked him out ,so that he could start to get money off the job centre my son i in full time education at college,he has fallan out with me,i phoned him up and told him that it was his choice to move out of home and that he had to sort out his own problems(i realy do feel horrible )the place where he is living is a ruff lace you know the one with windows pt through and that and they are a horrible family that hes living with but alot of ppl sy hes happy ,i asked him to come and have a talk about this thing to d with his money and he said that he cannot be long he was staying with his grlfriend for her to have her hair cut!!! i could not believe it,so i sapped at him and told hm to find his ownway through his life am ,i feel realy down and depressed just done know what to do and to say to him,face to face plz help

Am i being selfish?

1. You don%26#039;t have to go to the tax centre and LIE to them - you could get into trouble for that

2. Just don%26#039;t %26quot;put him down%26quot; and allow him to live his life. It%26#039;s time he learned from his own mistakes.

- You have to let your children go when they are ready - and it sounds like he is emotionally ready to leave the nest. He may not be financially ready or ready in other ways... He%26#039;ll do fine - he%26#039;s in college so not to worry.

Am i being selfish?

your being selfish by expecting some one to read all of that ^

Am i being selfish?

Yea that is selfish, he cant be with you forever.

Am i being selfish?

You are very difficult to understand. First I%26#039;d suggest a writing course.

Am i being selfish?

yes you are you got to see all sides then do whats best for the higher good

Am i being selfish?

sounds like he is getting sex for the first time and has gone overboard. grit your teeth and never criticise the girlfriend, her family or the place he lives in and always make both of them welcome. However, he is asking you to lie about the money and I think you need to discuss this with him calmly. tell him that he needs to get himself a part time job.

Am i being selfish?

Go get laid have another one

Am i being selfish?

If he is happy your not.

Am i being selfish?

This was a really hard question to read. I suppose English is not your native language?

Anyhoo, it was his choice to move out of the nest, so you should not lie for him and tell the tax people that you %26quot;kicked him out%26quot;, that would be a lie and lying to them is %26quot;fraudulent%26quot;. Don%26#039;t do it.

I wish you all the best of luck.

Cheers

Am i being selfish?

i think you are being selfish...

maybe he doesn%26#039;t understand what family means to you.

you should have a talk with him about that and also listen to him when he tries to talk to you about what his girlfriend means to him.

it seems like you%26#039;re getting offended by things that he didn%26#039;t mean in that way.

i doubt he meant to hurt you by telling you he wanted to be with his girlfriend for a hair cut.

in all relationships (family, friends, lovers) it%26#039;s important to take a step back and look at the person%26#039;s intentions.

did they try to hurt you?

if they just don%26#039;t understand why you are so upset and didn%26#039;t see it the same way as you, it%26#039;s YOUR JOB to talk about it and try to make things better.

Am i being selfish?

kinda. when he wanted u to lie to the government to get money and u said no that was not being selfish, he was. and when u slapped him, it was more his fault because he shouldve told u in the first place he was busy and not show up and rush throut stuff.

Am i being selfish?

eventhough you don%26#039;t want him to go , at some point in his/your life he has to make a move on. you have taught him well but he needs to make some decisions for himself now. try and get him to come over to your house and discuss his future with you.......

i hope it goes well

Am i being selfish?

sounds like you have brought up a scrounging and spoilt son into society, shame on you. Leave him to fend for himself and learn how tough life can be on his own. Over time he will fall out with his girlfriend and then want you to support him again.

Am i being selfish?

If he is over 18, he is an adult and can make his own decisions. If he is in love with a girl, you need to get to know her and even if you don%26#039;t like her, you need to accept her. He has chosen her for himself, not for you. If you balk him on his choice of g/f you make him choose her over you and you will lose (at least until or if they break up).

Accept whomever he brings into his life even if you don%26#039;t like them. Be there for him and if he breaks up with someone that you do not like great, be happy.

My brother has the most horrible lazy wife in the world, and they have been together for over 20 years. If my parents had shown their true feelings for her, she would never have allowed them to see the babies. We all hate her, and I am sure my brother knows this, but we tolerate her for our brother%26#039;s sake. Now that their kids are grown, we hope he will get rid of her, but I am sure that she will be the death of him.

Also, NEVER lie for him - you are right there, he has to work out life on his own. Good luck.

Am i being selfish?

Wow! That was hard to read. Luckily I am used to reading text messages from people who spell funny to be quick.

He left on his own. He is old enough to make his own decisions and even though you miss him, you need to stay firm. He has to make his own mistakes in order to learn about life. Just be there for him if he falls flat on his face and needs to come home. Don%26#039;t feel sorry for him about where he is living. He CHOSE to live there. If it gets too bad, he will come crawling back to you.

Am i being selfish?

First of all cut yourself some slack...you%26#039;re always going to have the instinct to protect your son. Think to a time when you were his age and wanted to make your own decisions. At least he%26#039;s taking the initiative to try to be on his own. You can%26#039;t keep him to yourself you have to share him with the rest of the world...and yes...even girlfriends. Be proud of your independent son and help guide him. If he sees you being supportive he will always come to you for advice but if he sees you as an obstacle he will avoid you. He%26#039;s a man and he wants to face the world as one...you can%26#039;t do that with your mommy holding your hand. Just let him go and be there if he need you

Am i being selfish?

dont worry...give it time and all will heal itself.. what u should do is just giv ur son a break and giv him some time to himself im sure he%26#039;ll realise the emptyness in his life without you and then deffo he%26#039;l come running to you.. :)

or alternatively, you could sit dwn have a chat with both ur son and his gf, respect them and they%26#039;ll respect you!!

Good Luck n dont worry because all mothers have problems with their son%26#039;s girlfriends/wives!!

Am i being selfish?

Your son left home to be with a girl, and you are angry. You are making sure the door to your heart is closed. You are letting go of being responsible for his support, this is a tough one. An orphoned child left on the doorstep of the world community might end up at any ones door, to live a life of what?

Am i being selfish?

I%26#039;m sure a lot of your anger and depression stems from - as you said, that you miss him dearly, and of course you%26#039;re worried about him, he%26#039;s just taken his first steps toward being on his own. It%26#039;s terribly difficult to let our children go off into the world and make their own mistakes, we want desperately to shield them. Just tell him how you%26#039;re feeling, openly and honestly. He really does sound like a good person, he%26#039;s staying in school, so you%26#039;ve done a good job, mother. He%26#039;s going to make his own way, and that%26#039;s what he%26#039;s supposed to do, he won%26#039;t forget you. With love, feel better.

Am i being selfish?

you re definitly being selfish he made his choice even its a bad one it is your duty as a mother to help your child he is not commited a crime for god s sake make a good choice cause one day you might regret it take care

Am i being selfish?

Yes, You are being selfish and it is a good thing. I am still going though the pains of cutting the purse / apron strings will my children. It is a lot like labor pain. Your son will be angry and bitter, blame all his problem on you. He will try to make you continue to fix his problems ie go down there and sign those papers for him. DON%26#039;T. Yes, you are in pain but if you continue to wipe his ... nose he will never grow up. Move on and busy yourself with somebody, something else and let your son grow up, on his own. It is Tough Love. Tough on both of you. But, you are not alone. There are those of us who have done it and I can tell you: It is best.

Am i being selfish?

Your son is in college now, He%26#039;s no longer a little boy, He%26#039;s a MAN, and it seems like your trying to keep him with you because your afraid of being alone yourself. Our job as parents is not to control our children, but to gently steer them in the right direction and pray like crazy that they make the right choices. How is your son ever going to learn how to deal with what life throws at him, if you refuse to let him go and make his own mistakes? That%26#039;s the only way he%26#039;s going to learn. So to answer your question, Yes, You are being selfish. It%26#039;s time to cut that umbilical cord and allow your child to live his life.

Am i being selfish?

bless you hun!! you want your son to stay with you, but its time for him too go. You knew this day was going to happen, but i bet you thought you%26#039;d handle it better!! I%26#039;m sure you%26#039;ve brought him up with a sound mind, so you just have to trust his choices and hope he makes the right ones. Tell him you know you%26#039;ve handled the situation badly and you%26#039;re ready to help him when he needs you. Being a full time student he needs finacial support from wherever he can get it so if you need to tell a wee white lie to the job centre, then i personally i%26#039;d do it! Think of what you where like when you had you%26#039;re first serious partner that you where ready to move in with, im sure you where a bit selfish in your thoughts and actions when it came to your parents so try and see this new adventure in life from his side. You can invite your son and girlfreind for sunday lunch and make an effort to get to know her I wish you all the luck in the world, thing will get better and easier im sure. Keep smiling , he%26#039;ll always be your son!!~!.

Am i being selfish?

You are being selfish. If he%26#039;s old enough to make this kind of decision, then so be it. It%26#039;s not about you, its about him, and he will do what he thinks is right. You can%26#039;t control another person. let it go. But you can always tell him how you feel - be honest, but don%26#039;t expect him to change.

Am i being selfish?

hi 1st of all plse dont be depressed and have cool glass of water . now cumng 2 ur problem . ur son has left the house bcoz u askd him to do so . He is also feeling depressed just i had a word with him . So plse convience him tht u r thr 4 him and u slapped him out of mothers love and affection and tell him tht u asked him to leave just bcoz u cant cant think of being away from him . plse call ....

Am i being selfish?

You know as parents sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind,well this is one of those times. He thinks hes big enough to make it in the big wide world so let him get on with it, he%26#039;ll either come back with his tail between his legs or he will stand on his own two feet,either way both choices are HIS.

you have nothing to feel down about. Trust me hes missing you as well but you have to let him do this.good luck x